I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
