I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
