Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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