i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
