I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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