Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im six kinds of drunk right now
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
