she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
