my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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