Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
