If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
