u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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