He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
