if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
