Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
