How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
