it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
