I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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