I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
