i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
