I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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