From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
