This girl is more easily done than said...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
