I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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