You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
