I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
