I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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