so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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