did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
