You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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