everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
