its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
