No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
