We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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