STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
