I'm drive I can fine osifer
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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