I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
