OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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