No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
