I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
