the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
