I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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