you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
