Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Found the puke drawer
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
