I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got inside last night via doggy door
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
