I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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