my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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