my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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