I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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