I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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