I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
