Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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