Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
