Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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