More tranny stories later!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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